Inevitable Geriatric Deterioration

She eyed me tastefully
I thought of all the wonderful moments we could share...
And then I thought of our inevitable geriatric deterioration
Like changing our own diapers at a hotel in Paris

Bed Bath and Beyond Gift Certificate

"When does my Bed Bath and Beyond gift certificate expire?"
Asked my grandmother from her deathbed
"It'll last a lot longer than you," my punk cousin said
She wished to expire on 400 thread count

Orange

Orange is my favorite color
But strangely, I hate yellow
It's so happy and unrealistic
So I sent the eggs back

Mom

My mom thought that clouds were a sure sign of God
But strangely, she'd never been outside
Was locked in a basement for all her sad life
Yeah, nobody liked mom that much