Celebration of Promiscuity

I would call it a "celebration of promiscuity"
Mother has a more wholesome view
She calls it "kids being kids"
Our director next door calls it "Girls Next Door Volume 8: Gagging Girls"
And that's where the money is so we'll go with that

Baptism

Glittering like drips of dew
My spit on the little boy's forehead
"Consider yourself baptized, kid"

Third-World Starving Kid

Yeah, they all loved that third-world starving kid
Until one day, after she came to town town
and showed everyone her treasure
Her pouch
It was like a mouth
It was filled with locust larvae, or white gold as she called it
It's funny cuz white gold means something different for her
than it does for that starving kid,
or for me who thinks of it as jizz

The Mantle Piece

The strap-on was placed on the mantle
Displayed prominently
But not quite prominently enough

Master Craftsman

I know 10 projects from a master craftsman
At least 5 of which are tricks to opening beer bottles
And the others
Well those are of course more serious

Nice Face

Nice face asshole!
Really, I'm impressed
In all seriousness, you do have a nice face...
For a fuck face

Emily Dickinson

Really, I'm just a fat wet slut
Who, nevertheless, enjoys the poetry of Emily Dickenson
Except when she goes off on flowers and shit
I'd always thought her poetry could be improved if she'd just written about her fat slutty self